BNP leader Nick Griffin had little time to bask in the glory of his party’s 0.6 % rise in the local election polls before angry bigots were slamming his “Excalibur Range” of right wing gifts and trinkets as a complete farce. “I was looking for a giant Swastika flag so that I could fly it above my house to express my Britishness,” said disappointed zealot Terry Wiggles today.

“After the BNP’s recent success, I figured I would order one from their website. Well, I couldn’t believe the shoddiness of their so-called range. No swastikas, no busts of Hitler, no Mussolini memorabilia, no leather boots, nothing. Just a few daft things like Celtic cross lampshades, Thor’s Hammers and tie-dye hippie tops. I was flabbergasted. I mean, what’s all that crap got to do with getting rid of blacks?”

Factory worker Roderick Fengdungus was similarly disappointed: “I was going to order some KKK style robes to wind up an Asian mate at work.” He told us. “Like all good-natured Ethnics, he loves it when we whites take the piss out of his funny colour and zany culture. Sadly, thanks to the BNP’s paltry merchandise selection, it won’t be happening. I mean sure, I’ll still go to Assif’s wedding, but it won’t be the same.”

Responding to this barrage of complains, BNP headquarters issued a statement today claiming that they had been hoodwinked into buying the merchandise sight unseen by a dodgy looking bloke with a swastika painted on the side of his van.
“That’s what you get when you trust foreigners.” Said BNP marketing secretary Jasper H. Swines.
“I dealt with the guy personally and he seemed kosher to me, if you’ll pardon the expression.”

But dissatisfied racists might be encouraged by news that the BNP plan a re-launch of their range with several exciting additions.
“We’re hoping to make up for all the recent disappointment with several attractive new items such as our brand new fragrance for men ‘Supremacy’ and our own version of BNP monopoly, which is very exciting.” Mr Swines went on to tell us.

Based on the popular property trading game, BNP Monopoly features a number of special racist rule changes to make it even more fun for the bigoted gamer.

While the original game has players start with nothing and build up property, the new version sees competitors start with fifty hotels full of immigrant families. Players can use cash won in the game to pay their tenants to leave the country and can also buy matches and explosives to burn down Mosques, corner shops etc. in order to encourage obstinate tenants to leave.

“BNP Monopoly -Taking Britain Back Street By Street” will be available in the run up to the Scottish Parliamentary elections, at a price yet to be established.

Meanwhile, BNP activist Julius Yeast today angrily denied claims that he had links with an ultra-right wing faction known as The Conservative Party.
"Oh yeah I hate blacks and ethnics of all kinds, " he told us today "but in no way do I wish to be associated with The Conservatives."